Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
