Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
