Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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