you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
