no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
