I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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