he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
