he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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