Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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