RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
