Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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