Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
