How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
