Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
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I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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