Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
