I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
