OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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