found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
