I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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