mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
