Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
