Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
