My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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