I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize