sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
