wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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