Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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