no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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