I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
