Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
