I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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