Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
