took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
