Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
