I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
