I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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