so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
