I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
