you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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