I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
