The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
