Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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