There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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