How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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