after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
