Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
