His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
