In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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