You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
