True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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