idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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